Compassionate love is marked by trust and companionship while passionate love is more physical and sexual. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and a shared respect for one another. While most people desire relationships that combine the security and stability of compassionate with intense passionate love, hatfield believes that this is rare. Companionate love is also known as affectionate love, friendshipbased love, or attachment. It was articulated in my chapter, compassionate love. A framework for research underwood 2009, and used in research studies by others. To find outand get tips for becoming a more compassionate partnertake this quiz, which is adapted from a scale developed by researchers susan sprecher and beverley fehr. Because it requires time to develop fully, this kind of love is often seen. Companionate love refers to a variety of love that is durable, fairly slow to develop, and characterized by interdependence and feelings of affection, intimacy, and commitment. Despite we may get hurt during the affiliation with the other parties, we still desire to be loved and to avoid being isolated, this is mainly due to the social anxiety and loneliness. Many of us show love in the ways we hope to receive love the golden rule of doing unto others as you would have others do unto you but this assumes your partner defines love the same way you do.
However, they should make a commitment not to betray, deprive or stay distant with their life partner if they want to keep the relationship last for a lifetime. Yet more recent findings also point to the power of situations to evoke otheroriented emotional states that increase intentions and actions to. Compassionate love develops over time and is typically longer lasting than passionate love. The book adopts a social science approach to understanding compassionate love emphasizes positive features of social interaction. Once automatic cognitions have been identified clients are encouraged to consider what selfcompassionate responses might look like. Where passionate love is marked by its intensity, compassionate love is characterized by its level of intimacy.
Compassionate love is when two people first fall in love, they often have an intense passion for each other. In fact, the couples who come in to see me for therapy have been missing the mark for years. This compassionate thought challenging record is designed to help clients to generate alternate compassionate perspectives to their automatic negative cognitions. Pdf compassionate love for close others and humanity. Historically, social psychologists are known for demonstrating the power of situations to reduce compassionate impulses and prosocial behavior. However, selfbenefits may also occur as a result of experiencing compassionate love for others.
Together they present a stateoftheart perspective, oriented toward future scientific investigations of compassionate love but in touch with its roots. The science of compassionate love wiley online books. For this splendid collection, fehr psychology, univ. Hatfield recounted this short history of research on passionate love, and offered some predictions for the future of this area of study, in her william james fellow award address at the 24 th aps annual convention. Flexible definitions were needed because compassionate love was seen as meriting attention from a wide range of social and biological sciences, including psychology, sociology, economics, neuroscience, and table 1. People should understand that compassionate love defines trustworthiness, attachment, and empathy when they live and interact with their romantic partners. Compassionate love, sometimes also called altruistic love, has been a topic of scientific interest and research since the 1990s. A compassionate love scale was developed that can be used, in alternative forms, to assess compassionate or altruistic love for different targets e. Commitment and intimacy are important components of compassionate love. Compassionate love refers to love that centers on the good of the other p. It is also closely related to the construct of unlimited love that has been expounded by stephen g.
The science of compassionate love is an interdisciplinary volume that presents cuttingedge scholarship on the topics of altruism and compassionate love. Social psychology passionate love vs compassionate love. Empathy involves responding to another persons emotions with emotions that are similar. All you need is love and compassion world of psychology. Compassionate love involves feelings of mutual respect, trust, and affection while passionate love involves intense feelings and sexual attraction. The color wheel model of love in his 1973 book the colors of love, psychologist john lee compared styles of love to the color wheel. Compassionate love may be romantic, platonic, or a general, vague feeling directed at all of humanity. The necessity of compassion within healthcare is evident in the first principle of the american medical association code of ethics that states, a physician shall be dedicated to providing competent medical care, with compassion and respect for human. In a longterm relationship, passionate love typically simmers down to compassionate love within one to two years. The science of compassionate love answers questions about altruism and compassionate love by providing innovative, stateoftheart research from leadingscholars. In 2008 i selfpublished a book i had been working on for a decade. Using three samples total n 529, the compassionate love scale was developed and piloted.
Compassionate love is a kind of love that can be expressed to anyone, even people we struggle with, and anyone can express it. This lesson discusses the definition of companionate love, which is love based on a deep commitment between two people that is not characterized by romance or passion. It is distinct from altruism, compassion, and romantic love. T1 compassionate love predicts longterm survival among people living with hiv followed for up to 17 years. I believed at the time this was a definition of mind, as opposed to brain, and i believe this now even more so.
It is an expansive love that can enhance our personal and social wellbeing and our feelings of interconnectedness with others. Theory, research, and applications by fehr, beverley, sprecher, susan, underwood, lynn g. Compassionate love can be experienced in numerous ways. What personality theories in psychology may tell you about yours. Compassion is extolled as a cornerstone of quality healthcare by patients, families, clinicians, and policy makers 15. The feelings of compassion manifested by caring for the patient also lead to positive emotions, which act as a protective factor for compassion fatigue, and the satisfaction of being a positive. Compassionate thought challenging record psychology tools.
Compassionate love, also called companionate love, is about intimacy, trust, commitment, and affection. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. The simple presence of other people, for example, can decrease the rates at which people act to help others. The contributors work in a variety of disciplinessocial psychology, communication, health science. Compassionate love predicts longterm survival among. It would be difficult to find a more qualified guide to this particular line of research than hatfield, a professor of psychology at the university of hawaii and pioneer. The diagram below and the explanation that follows are. Relation of compassionate love to related constructs. Selfcompassion entails being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly selfcritical.
It is said that every human has the desire to affiliate with others and we are not standalone units. The compassionate mind workbook utilizes ideas and practices from compassion focused therapy cftwhich draws on insights into emotion regulation and identity formation, neuroscience, interpersonal psychology, and other psychotherapeutic modelsto help readers with a range of mental health problems to develop selfcompassion. Compassionate love has been identified as one of the major types of love experienced in relationships berscheid, 2010, but one that has been overshadowed by the study of romantic love. A persuasive series of research studies with both animals and humans show us that our first instinct really is to be good, kind and compassionate. Compassionate love may be the type of love that leads to the most social good for those who are its recipients.
Psychologist elaine hatfield has described two different types of romantic love. Despite we may get hurt during the affiliation with the other parties, we still desire to be loved and to avoid being. Compassionate love for close others and humanity susan. Adopts a social science approach to understanding compassionate love. I have continued ever since to develop the complete philosophy and i. Passionate love association for psychological science aps. Social psychology passionate love vs compassionate love it is said that every human has the desire to affiliate with others and we are not standalone units. In this groundbreaking new book professor paul gilbert explores how our minds have developed to be highly sensitive and quick to react to perceived threats and how this fastacting threatresponse system can be a source of anxiety, depression and aggression. The theories of compassionate and passionate love were developed by elaine hatfield. Reviewed and selected by knowledgeable professionals.
Compassionate love is not selfish in its aims and works to create an equitable balance of care, attention, and respect, rather than trying to gain something through the relationship. Although compassion is listed in few emotion taxonomies, numerous studies have examined the. Using three samples total n 529, the compas sionate love scale was developed and piloted. The book adopts a social science approach to understanding compassionate love emphasizes positive features of social interaction encourages the appropriate expression of compassionate love both to those in intimate relationships and to. The compassionate mind association for psychological. Emotions represent a first level of analysis, and are brief, contextspecific responses focused on a clear cause ekman, 1992. Companionate love definition companionate love refers to a variety of love that is durable, fairly slow to develop, and characterized by interdependence and feelings of affection, intimacy, and commitment. From decades of theorizing and exploring these concepts, we know that having love and compassion for oneself is not only not selfish, its actually a great way to make sure youre doing the best you can and impacting others positively. Compassionate love is characterized by feelings of respect, care, trust, and affection towards another person. On the other hand, selflove is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth khoshaba, 2012. Fifteen principles for becoming more kind, compassionate, and accepting of yourself kaiser, shannon on. Selflove is a more stable construct than selfcompassion.
Three studies were conducted in which people were asked to. Companionate love psychology definition iresearchnet. There are also some intriguing studies from developmental psychology that set. Empirical studies of compassion can also be organized according to a levels of analysis framework for studying affective experiences kahneman, 1999. It is about valuing yourself as a human being who is worthy of love and respect. However, over time, this type of intense passion subsides. Nearly 400 books, dvds, and audios to help children and adults through death and dying, grief, bereavement, serious illness, and losses of all kinds, including divorce, suicide, murder, trauma, and violence. It is the kind of love that is central to many religious traditions.
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